Dre Day No More

Dear Dr. Dre,

“PEOPLE AREN’T HEARING ALL THE MUSIC.”

Your quote is on the side of my BeatsX box, which has subsequently turned into a coffin for my earphones, which have died a premature death.

I sit here pondering, why in the world did I spend $200 over a year ago, only to sulk here today, with no real answers? I probably didn’t even HAVE $200 to spend on music gear, but I’m sure it was a tax-refund situation, as I am not a baller. But I believed it to be an investment in my well-being. Beats by Dre are the top of the line in audio accessories, and the first time I slipped them into my ears, I was floored. It was unlike any listening experience I ever encountered. It made me want to work out more. Go-hands free when talking to my mom without looking like a douche. Tune out people at work, therefore increasing my productivity and focus. I was a walking billboard for Beats.

But my life came to a screeching halt a few weeks ago when my Beats refused to charge and never turned back on- I’m pretty sure I was listening to The Chronic at the time. I soon found out that I had missed the one-year warranty to get them replaced, but surely, these earbuds wouldn’t just go out on me after a YEAR. I hadn’t dropped them, no water damage, I was not in a brawl- there was no reason to have them shut down on me. I was reluctant, but then visited the labyrinth that is the Apple Store to see if the earbuds could be salvaged. I was then politely told that they probably were never going to turn back on (even after an in-store reset), but they could still send them to be serviced, but I would most likely just get another pair refurbished, and they would take $20 off. Oh, with a 90-day warranty instead of a year. Soooo, $20 bucks off of $200, and less time to get them fixed should I run into this problem again. I was told this should not have happened, but it is a rare occasion, but sometimes THEY JUST STOP WORKING.

I am never spending this kind of money on Beats again, and I just need you to know how sad I am. I wish the saying “you get what you pay for” applied to this scenario, but it does not. I might as well go hang out in the check-out line at TJ Maxx every month to get a new seat of buds for less than $10 bucks. Dre (can I call you that at this point?), you don’t know how awful it is to go from great headphones to crappy ones. During my mourning phase last week, I purchased another set of Bluetooth wireless earbuds, which I considered to be a good deal- LIES! How could I possibly listen to the intro to “The Next Episode” on subpar equipment?! You want to know what it’s like listening to music through these things? Like being underwater at the YMCA pool, and hearing the lifeguard’s crappy music just above the surface. It sounds like a conference call where several people start to talk but then stop because someone else is talking at the same time. I don’t even want to workout anymore, so I’m pretty sure I got fatter because my Beats died.

RIP to my music-listening dreams,

Michelle B.

-KEEP IT A HOT MESS

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