Whatcha Cryin ‘Bout?

This list of peculiar reasons why I have shed tears needs no explanation. If you read it and find yourself relating in any type of way, then you know the struggle. You know the pain. You know the suffering. You know the hormones.

I cried once…

  • When I dropped a roll of aluminum foil on the kitchen floor, watching it slowly unravel as I was trying to wrap a bagel. I thought “why is this happening to mee?!?!”, as I actually tried to roll it up and stuff into a kitchen drawer, realizing I should have just thrown it away.
  • Watching an Olympic video- I’m so glad you crossed that finish line in ’92, Derrick Redmond!
  • When I swiped left by mistake on the design architect that worked on Brickell City Centre, who flirted with me a few months back when I was pretending to run around Brickell Key. I was so close to a prenup!
  • Listening to my Evanessance playlist on Spotify- Amy Lee really knows how to tug at your heartstrings with those lyrics.
  • When I realized I couldn’t go to a concert because I was having a party instead.
  • Looking at a YouTube video of a lady cleaning a house, then finding out it was her new home.
  • When my college football team lost a National Championship- I bawled my eyes out for about an hour.
  • Seeing Ruben Studdard win American Idol.
  • Not once, but three times- tears have fallen out of my eyes at every single Janet Jackson concert I’ve attended.
  • When I watch video of Whitney Houston singing the National Anthem at the Superbowl.
  • When my breakfast sandwich was delivered without bacon. It had sausage instead. I stared at the bagel for a solid minute, willing the bacon to show up. It did not. I was devastated.
  • When Michael Jackson, Prince, and Rickey from Boyz in the Hood passed away.
  • After spraining my ankle in college. I tried to deny the injury and went to a club where my college crush finally flirted with me. After the pain increased to the point where I was going to pass out, I had to leave and catch a cab to the ER. I cried more about my crush.
  • When I missed meeting The Rock because I had mono. Completely unacceptable.

 

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