Spark Plug


Standard definition: a device for delivering electric current from an ignition system to the combustion chamber of a spark-ignition engine to ignite the compressed fuel/air mixture by an electric spark, while containing combustion pressure within the engine.

My definition: the thingy in your car that makes your car work. If you don’t have any spark, sometimes pouring Coke on something makes it work, too. Or is that the battery…

Love’s definition: the reason we don’t like that one dude ( if it’s missing).

SPARK. The entity that makes or breaks a love connection. Many people hang everything on to that electric current that you hope exists when you first meet a potential suitor. It is often so relied upon, that you feel there’s no chance at love if you don’t feel all tingly and slightly uncomfortable in a matter of minutes. But where does the “spark” originate? Initial mutual attraction? A meeting of intellectual minds? That tight ass skirt you decided to wear?

I have had the spark debate with friends, and there have been many a heated discussion about the issue of a lack of spark between two people. There was a young man my friends were attempting to set me up with, that I just wasn’t feeling in a romantic, slow jamz mix-tape type of way. He was a great guy: handsome, educated, artistic, not a serial killer- everything a woman should want!  But I wasn’t feeling him, and my friends thought I was nuts! They continued to pester me, trying to determine why in the world my single self wouldn’t go for this awesome guy. Did I really want to be happy? Was I being too picky? Did I have my cat’s name picked out?  I really couldn’t give them a definitive answer outside of, “There’s just no spark. 

After constant berating and then accusing me of only liking athletic idiots (see my recent “I Ain’t Got No Type…Or Do I?” post), my friends finally gave in, and accepted the fact that I just wasn’t attracted to this man in a romantic way. Though they felt that my spark argument didn’t hold much merit, they agreed that there had to be a mutual attraction in order for the relationship to even get off the ground. And even though this guys was one cool dude, I was sure he would make some lady out there very happy, I just knew it wasn’t going to be me. Because I knew in my heart that I needed that THING to keep my interest going. So what exactly is that thing, that spark we all speak of and hope for? Truly, it’s an enigmatic emotion that differs from one person to another, so all I can do is explain what the feeling ignites in me. Spark is…

·The feeling when you meet someone and on instant contact, it’s as if you just ordered a 12 oz. NY strip steak from Smith and Wollensky’s. Plus, it’s being delivered to your table, STILL ON FIRE, and by a shirtless Adam Levine

·An emotion that makes you slightly uncomfortable every time you’re around that person. For instance, let’s say you’re slightly stalking them at work and you don’t interact much. However, whenever you run into them, they give you a devilish smirk and a wink. Well, that spark is gonna shoot right our your pants

·The mere thought of receiving a text from this man sends shivers down your spine, because not only does he utilize big words in casual conversations, but he spells them correctly as well (CAN YOU SAY PLETHORA?!?!)

·That sensation you feel when someone is in the room that makes you want comb your hair, shave your legs, and put makeup on your face. All that the same time. And they LOVE IT.

Could I go out with a man where there is no spark? Sure. I have had several opportunities to settle down with men who were attractive and sweet. Kind and friendly. Tall and had football season tickets. While these men had very endearing qualities, in each instance, something was missing: it was DAT SPARK. And though it may appear that I’m extremely picky, I AM AND I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE. At times when it seems like true love is avoiding me, I know in my gut that I need that tingle. That feeling that literally takes your breath away, makes you check your phone constantly, keeps you up at night, and in my case, no longer makes you feel like crap. Yeah, the wrong pair of spark plugs may have failed me in the past, but I still need a genuinely good pair to keep my heart going.


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