Are you a Nice Guy? Well, if you are, I’m here to tell you that I want you.
I am not a woman who subscribes to the notion that all the single men that are “left” out there are either married, gay, or incarcerated. Not to say that I haven’t run into those men, because trust me, I have. If you encounter a man who sends you a picture with jewelery on his ring finger, but tells you that it’s the only finger it will fit on due to his recent weight loss, please run the other way. If the guy you recently started dating drinks cosmopolitans and only stares at other men when you’re out, you guys are most likely not a match. If a man you met through an online dating site tells you that he would love to see a football game with you soon, but soon is actually April 2017,it’s time to move on to the next one (that guy was actually incarcerated…this is exactly why prisoners don’t need internet access). I’m not talking about those guys, they definitely do not dispel that “no men are left” argument. No, I’m referring to that other lot of men, who are on the other side of the pond, wondering where the nice women are, just like you.
Mr. Nice Guy, you definitely have a bad rep. Like Michael Jackson’s Scarecrow in “The Wiz”, you just can’t win. You finish last, right behind men who routinely disrespect women and whose ideal woman is a video model. But those are the men who seem to get us, right? Some women scream at the top of their lungs “I just want a nice guy!”, but when that nice guy asks them out, and calls them within minutes, it can be met with hesitation and fear. Now let Mr. Asshole ask for a woman’s number and not call her back for a week, and see what happens. She’s now wondering why he doesn’t like her, if he was in accident, attending a funeral, or has a busy schedule. After that exhausting thought process, she will still give him another chance, because he is “just so cute”, or he has a nice car. Meanwhile, Mr. Nice Guy, you just want to take us to dinner and have a stimulating conversation, and we call you boring. If you really sit down and think about, it’s a completely asinine way of thinking, and I for one, Mr. Nice Guy, apologize on behalf of all single women who have the tendency to go overlook your awesomeness. I have definitely been one of those women who has passed on Mr. Nice Guy, and you see where I am today- hoping that I’ll be lucky enough for you to ask me out again.
I hope you know how much I appreciate all that you do, Mr. Nice Guy. I like the way you ask me out on a date, never asking if you can simply “come over and see me” ( that’s not a first date, gentlemen). I love that you say what you mean, and mean what you say. I’m glad you’re only a bad boy when you need to be. I’m thankful that you say up front what you want, and keep it “100” at all times, as they say in the streets. Thank you for not telling me that you’re looking for a relationship and 3 months in, you clarify that you actually meant sporadic “friends with benefits”. You still know how to court a woman, Mr. Nice Guy, and you don’t get enough credit for that. You actually shouldn’t, as that is the way women are supposed to be treated, but that doesn’t happen enough in today’s society. Unfortunately, you have been overshadowed by the man who yearns for instant gratification and dirty pictures sent to his phone after a first date. You are brushed aside for the man who doesn’t really want to hear what I have to say, and only responds if I send a text message past 11pm. Us women folk have mistreated you long enough, and for that I apologize.
So Mr. Nice Guy, don’t be discouraged by the presence of the asshole, and their hold over many of the women out there. Be yourself, and don’t ever change. If it doesn’t work with some women because you were “just too nice, but…”, or “ I see you as a friend…”, then they weren’t for you anyway. Let those women go off with all the men on the Love and Hip-Hop shows and guys who are famous on Instagram. They didn’t deserve you anyway. Keep being honest and upfront, opening doors for old ladies, calling when you say you’re going to call, expressing your feelings, being a gentleman in the street, naughty when necessary, cordial and considerate, and most of all, direct and honest. You actually sound pretty fantastic, Mr. Nice Guy- why don’t you call me tonight?
-KEEP IT A HOT MESS