25 vs. 35


(THIS is what 35 looks like… no more Denny’s)

Newsflash: 30 is not the new 20, 50 is not the new 30, and 25 is not the new 15. We need to just act our age, and embrace it. I have fought being in my 30s for a every long time now, oftentimes forgetting how old I am and lying to people when they ask me how long I’ve been on this Earth. I am 35 years old, and I am effing fabulous.

But I know my limits. What I could do when I was 25, I can longer do at 35. Technically, I could, but I’d rather take a nap. I told a friend the other day that I now keep my “turn-up” activities limited to 3-4 events per year. In fact, St. Patrick’s Day is today and I had a huge plan to get crazy ( what I would have done automatically at 25), but at 35, I’d rather people watch and have one beer. Who knows, it all depends on how I feel after my nap…

Many of us adults out there feel the same way. We want to and try our DAMNDEST to hang in there like we’re still in our 20s, but it never really works out that way, does it? We want to be Little John, when we really should be Luther Vandross. Brunch plans have taken over the drunken nights at Amnesia. Don’t believe me? Just watch:

25: Take a nap before you go out. Stay out until 5am.

35: Take a nap before you go out. Wake up at 8:30am the next day.

25: Sunday activities: Wake up at 1pm, go to McDonald’s for hangover food. Maybe Denny’s.

35: Sunday activities: Wake up on time for 11am brunch reservations, due to the “nap” you took last night.

25: Drink of choice: Vodka-something. Shots. Shots. Shots. Shots. Shots.

35: Anything with a cork.

25: Getting excited that your new apartment has an Olympic-sized pool and party room.

35: Getting excited that you have your own washer/dryer. Oh, and security and valet.

25: Still throws house parties with the music blasting. People bring Bud Light and chips.

35: House parties are now “having friends over”. Everyone brings over a bottle of wine and a cheese plate.

25: Best friend trips are planned in a matter of minutes…Cabo in July, whoo hoo!

35: Best friend trips take 6 months to plan. Must get permission from husbands, secure child care, coordinate work schedules, etc. Oh wait, shoot! I can’t that weekend, I work…

25: Can still go out 3 time per week. YOLO, right? Before you have a bunch of kids…

35: Goes out one night a week, maybe. Takes 3 days recovery to after said night of debauchery.

25: Can’t sit still long enough to watch a Friends marathon.

35: Binges on Netflix on a regular basis. Even events like childbirth are welcome, as it allows multiple House of Cards and Orange Is the New Black marathons to be executed.

25: Stretchpants are what you wear when you work out.

35: Stretchpants are worn all the time. We would wear them to work if we could.

25: If you’re single, you look forward to meeting men at clubs, bars, and house parties.

35: If you’re single, you look forward to meeting men at Whole Foods and the bank.


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