You gotta mean what you say/you gotta say what you mean/Tryin to please everyone/Sacrificing your own needs/Check in the mirror my friend/No lies will be told then/Pointin the finger again/You can’t blame nobody but you/ – Ms. Jackson If You’re Nasty
I couldn’t help but begin my return to HML with a little Janet Jackson quote. This post doesn’t really have a true purpose, other than reminding everyone how awesome I am, plus I decided to throw in a little self-motivation.
I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus trying to “find” myself. In the midst of that strenuous activity, plus a move to The Downtown, I reflected on the importance of embracing my hot mess life, and I want to tell you why you should too. To sum up what my girl JJ said above, we all need to be true to ourselves, love ourselves, and never apologize for any of it. Before this gets too sappy and motivational, let me throw my hot mess twist on things.
Don’t wait until the New Year or when you lose 15 more pounds to love who you are right now. If people don’t like, so what, who cares? I’m not saying be yourself and be pure evil ( i.e. kicking puppies or cursing old ladies), just be yourself only if you’re a good person. Saying what’s on your mind and not caring what others think is the most freeing feeling in the world, but it can also be the most difficult to do. Everyone at work always comments on how nice I am, and I do agree. I try to be the peacemaker in all situations, and often hold my tongue when situations get a little testy. Well, I deviated from that path recently and my colleagues didn’t know what to do. I spoke my mind about the injustice of a holiday sweater competition, and I commented ( ALOUD) to other competitors that I seemed to be the only one complying with the actual rules of the contest, as I wore a SWEATER. Others decided that victory would be a cinch if they took a tree skirt, wrapped it around their neck, and attached some garland to their butts. Not only were people surprised that I stood up for myself (in a most backhanded, sarcastic way), but I even got a hi-five! Who knew saying exactly how you feel could get you respect? This doesn’t mean I’m now going to go on a rampage, wearing sweatpants whenever I fee like it, and telling all my ex-boyfriends that they suck, but you get the idea. Being true to yourself is awesome.
So I want to embrace and share how my hot mess life is awesome with all of you. If this allows someone else to cherish what and who they are, then so be it. But if it proves to simply be a form of self-therapy for me, I’m ok with that, too. Granted, I would love for this to go viral, help millions around the world, making me a shoe-in for Oprah’s next “Live Your Best Life Like a Boss” tour, but I suppose it’s fine if that doesn’t happen:
I LOVE MY HOT MESS PERSONALITY: Yes, I talk to myself. I don’t answer, but I truly believe it’s a sign of genius. I love my quirky, sarcastic, corny sense of humor, and no longer care if people laugh at my jokes. I love that I listen to 8Ball and MJG and The Ting Tings in the same car ride. I embrace the fact that I make people feel bad for being late. I love my ability to tell a story, and I can choreograph a dance routine in 5 minutes. I love my brain. Oh, you can add in super compassionate and a willingness to help others in there as well.
I LOVE MY HOT MESS BODY: I love ALL of this, and so should you. I love my ever-changing hair, especially when people want to touch it. I love my green eyes, even if they have the tendency to scare people on occasion ( I was once told I looked like snake). I have so much love going through my body, that my thighs have become best friends. They like to cuddle next to each other whenever possible, and dole out Eskimo kisses when no one’s looking. I love that their bond is so strong, that the force has ripped through several pairs of my jeans, because the feeling is too much to contain. I also love my hot mess body enough to want to make changes if I feel necessary, so I can love that new body, too.
I LOVE MY HOT MESS SOCIAL CIRCLE/FAMILY: My family is a hot mess. My mom sends me 2-page texts every morning at 10:30am, often accompanied by a glittering cross or Tweety Bird hugging a cat. My granny loves sports more than I do. I love reading all the curse words my cousins put on Facebook. I love the fact that my core group of friends resembles the United Nations ( what up Interracial Posse!), and that my best friend and I celebrate our birthdays and Halloween more than people enjoy Christmas. My crew tight, yo.
I LOVE MY HOT MESS LOVE LIFE: Yeah, I went out with a 12-year-old when I was 15 ( He lied). Yes, I had a boyfriend with bullet holes in his car ( it may have been rust, who knows). I have been dumped in a Target parking lot and one guy wanted to be with me because I was he perfect “breeder”. After all of that and more, I’m still optimistic. Granted, I would love to find the right guy yesterday, and already have a little Biscuit and a fantastic “Woman Cave” in my basement, but then I wouldn’t have anything to entertain you guys with, now would I?
-KEEP IT A HOT MESS