Can You Unfollow Stupid?

(I don’t want to see this in my newsfeed!)


I just discovered the genius that is the “unfollow” option on Facebook. Not that I necessarily want to end my social media friendship with anyone in particular, it’s just some of the utter crap people post on social media is excessive. I’ve been able to delete all stories from Bossip, Thought Catalog, and the NRA that my friends read, but I wish there was also an option to not view the following posts from people:


  • ALL POSTS RIDDLED WITH TEXT ACRONYMS AND HORRIBLE SPELLING/GRAMMAR: I’m not talking about an ” I love u” or “My cat is cray cray adorbs” post here and there. The posts that I would rather not have burn my corneas are these ridiculous diatribes, often fueled by anger or passion, that cannot be taken seriously because it’s written in ratchet code. I love you all, but please know that if you write something along the lines of ” I’m fina beat down dis ho b4 sum one else does, plz buleav I’m4real, trust dat!”, your friends are either skipping right by it, or wondering where you were educated.


  • FAMILY DRAMA: I thought Facebook was for sharing pictures with high school friends and occasionally seeing what you’re ex is up to. When did people begin to go all Hatfields and McCoys on each other, all for the world to see? It’s quite uncomfortable to read a friend’s rant about their Uncle who is a no-good jerk, and how they wish their mom would speak to him again to bring the family back together. What’s worse?  The comments after. Save the drama for your mother- at least send an angry text message or something.


  • TV SPOILERS: These people and their posts are just downright rude. And please, dont’ try and tell me that if I’m a Scandal fan and don’t watch it until later, that I should stay off Facebook on Thursday nights. How about you resist the urge to post something every 5 minutes during the show, therefore killing my newsfeed and anticipation? How are you even enjoying the show if you’re posting every 5 minutes, ” OMG, the Dad is the killer!” Whatever happened to a simple “Man, Scandal was awesome tonight”? Keep the spoilers to yourselves, jerks.


  • INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE MEMES: These are getting to be a bit much. Again, I’m okay with a few quotes about being happy, with a rainbow in the background, but the bitter female/independent evil woman posts have got to go. And I’m calling out my fellow ladies, because men don’t do that. Have you ever seen a male friend post a picture of a guy in a Yankee hat, with his head down, while throwing a rose on the ground, with the caption “A girl who drops a good guy is a fool and she’ll regret it in the end”? With the exception of Drake, NO ONE DOES THAT! Stop sending subliminal messages to your ex and get over it.

Getting rid of social media seems more and more inviting these days…


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