(Chi Straightener, August 2007- April 2014)


Chi Straightener, 5


Former Miami native and Deuce resident Chi Straightener, 5, died April 30, 2014, while visiting friends at their home in the Cutler Bay neighborhood of Miami, FL.

A service will be held in Miami, Florida at the Blue Recycling Bin next to the Main Trash Receptacle outside of the None of Your Business Apartments on Monday, May 19, 2014.

Chi Straightener was born in 2007 in a Houston, TX factory run by Farouk Systems, Inc, a leading hair care product manufacturer specializing in high quality salon products. Ms. Straightener was born on March 1, 2007 to Mr. and Mrs. Ceramic Plates ( maiden name Red Velvet Material).

Straightener graduated from Sally’s Beauty Supply in 2008 and did an online course in hair style technology on Amazon.com for 3 months. Soon after, she was purchased by a lovely young lady living in Miami who was looking for a way to beat the humidity and her African-American roots. A chance encounter on the Amazon website brought the two together in 2009 when a 50% discount allowed Straightener to be purchased for only $89.99. After arriving at her new owner’s doorstep on a beautiful Tuesday afternoon in March 2008, they joined together in her owner’s upstairs full bathroom where the first strand of frizzy hair was instantly transformed into a ribbon of silk in a matter of seconds.

 Straightener traveled cross-country, going everywhere with her owner, making her feel beautiful everyday during their union. She flourished in cold climate conditions such as Detroit, MI and Washington, D.C., and was a master of eliminating frizz and the sight of the new growth every chance she could get. At the height of her career in Miami around November of 2012, Chi Straightener was able to successfully allow her owner to go on a hair journey free of chemically relaxed hair, as she allowed her to enjoy the carefree life of stick-straight hair without a lye laden perm. Straightener was able to continue this journey with her owner for the past two years.

Chi Straightener was a card-carrying member of the Ulta Group, Sephora, Inc., and the Sally Beauty Supply Graduate School. She was also recently inducted into the Hair Straightener Hall of Fame in 2010, as the leading pioneer in ceramic plate hair straightening technology. Straightener was responsible for the cutting edge technology of digital interface flat-irons, with the capability of heating up to 450 degrees, and not allowing the smell of hair to be detected.

Her owner said that “Chi was my very best friend. She was with me through thick and thin hair- literally. She would light up any room she entered, and oftentimes friends would want to borrow her, and she would go without question, because she truly loved to help people. Whenever I had a horrific hair day, she was able to lift up my spirits and my roots and make me feel like a pretty girl again. I haven’t had to perm my thick-ass hair for over 2 1/2 years now, and I owe it all to Chi. I miss her dearly and will always love her”.

Straightener is survived by her step-sister Gold N’ Hot Ceramic Flat Iron of Cutler Bay, FL, her aunt White Girl Brush of Aventura, FL, brother Blow Dryer from Detroit, MI, and cousins Rat Tooth Comb, Wide Tooth Comb, Hair Clips, all from Miami, FL, and Garnier Fructise Straightening Mist from Paris, France.

Chi Straightener was preceded in death by her cousin, Hot N’ Gold 2-Inch Barrel Curlers and Con-Air 1-Inch Flat Iron.

Her owner was in charge of arrangements at the private burial ceremony.

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