Day 3 of Juicing

8:30am– I wake up and drink a lot of water because I haven’t, um, gone to the bathroom yet. I have been drinking my weight in cucumbers, carrots, kale, blueberries, apples, and grapes, and nothing’s coming through?  So all those veggies are still in there with my Cajun Grill takeout?!?!  So I jump on the juicing blogs to get tips to get this thing going, and I see a lot of suggestions for drinking more water and walking around. I’m headed to the park now…

10:30am– Nothing has happened. I sacrificed my looks and went to the park in a rush looking a hot mess ( I passed a firetruck damnit!), in hopes I would give my system the boost it needed. I drank my hot lemon water, took a shower, and still nothing. I’m scared…

11:30am– I head to my local farmer’s market, to get my produce for the week. I am somewhat hesitant, because I’ve heard opposing arguments for and against coming here to get my fruits and veggies. I heard many stories that the produce would end up being too expensive, and that I might as well go to Publix. I quickly pass the organic fruit lady, because I wasn’t going to pay $6 for a crate of blueberries. I slowly saunter by my first fruit stand, and see a happy little man who asks me if I need anything. I start to ask his prices, and they are actually cheap as hell!  He then figures out that I’m juicing, and starts going nuts. In addition to get everything I wanted for the whole week for $20 bucks, he suggests that I add in a gargantuan $5 papaya and a head a broccoli. So I got all of this for $26 dollars! I quickly head out there, because I started to smell the ribs and conch fritters, and if I stayed any longer, I would’ve been in my car with grease and BBQ sauce on my chin.

2:30pm– I finally have the watermelon juices, and they are FANTASTIC! My mom also tells me that they will help me, um GO, so I have high hopes for my intestinal tract. My mom also makes a suggestion to contact my grandmother because “she’ll know what to do about your not pooping”. Uh…

6:45pm– I wake up from a semi-nap to a picture of a friend’s salad on my phone. It has fried chicken on top of it. I want to officially murder someone for showing me pictures of chicken. I don’t like people playing on my phone…

10:27pm- I have to end this end now. I can’t type too long, because I keep going to the bathroom. But not the way I had hoped. But hey, I’ve already lost 3 pounds. The first three days are over. 9 more to go. Here I come Baddy Bey! July 10th can’t come quick enough…

-KEEP IT A HOT MESS