I Should Consider Myself Lucky, But Not Really

weight week 2

So I gained half a pound this week. Considering all the events that have transpired this weekend, I should consider myself pretty lucky. I have survived the Superbowl, decided to chug a beer for every touchdown my team scored ( that plan was not executed correctly AT ALL), drank the equivalent of a case of wine in 72 hours, devoured bar food, and celebrated my birth with my college roommate. This has all happened since Friday. Thank goodness my birthday only comes once a year, otherwise I would be screwed. Wait, my birthday isn’t even until this coming Sunday. I am SO SCREWED.

But don’t pat me on the back for only gaining half a pound under these circumstances. I can’t even pat my own back, because I’m not flexible. You should actually smack me on the back because I’m 184 pounds.  I really have done nothing in the past week to positively contribute to my cause. Let’s look at a few things:

Good Things I’ve Done This Week

  1. I worked out 3 days in a row
  2. I had a few salads
  3. I didn’t drink any soda
  4. I thought happy thoughts

Bad Things I’ve Done this Week

  1. Drank my weight in dranks
  2. I ate a Burger King Chicken sandwich really late at night because my grilled chicken and vegetable medley looked depressing
  3. Abandoned my barely-there exercise routine in a matter of days
  4. Decided to celebrate my birthday as long as possible, somehow justifying to myself that I can eat whatever I want during said celebration

So where I go from here?  Dare I try to separate celebration from EATING AND DRINKING?  What a foreign concept!  How in the world will I manage expressing my happy feelings, without adding cheese on something and washing it down with inhibition-juice?  Anyone can tell you that the feeling you get from biting into a nice cheeseburger can oftentimes resemble the pure joy you feel at the birth of your first child, graduating from beauty school, or your wedding night. Instead of birthday shots, should I just accept hugs from my friends? Before things get out of hand and I start eating vegetables everyday (baby steps), I’ll set some small goals for the week:

  • I’ll drink only water and vodka until Saturday (ok , just kidding… just vodka)
  • Work out a minimum of 60 minutes per day (somehow sounds shorter than saying 1 hour if I think of sweaty time in minutes)
  • No eating after 8pm (I do not want to turn into a Gremlin)

I’m keeping it real by telling you guys that’s all I can honestly commit to right now, without lying. But baby steps, right?  I didn’t get this sexy overnight, so it’s going to take a while to change my frat boy eating habits.  Wish me luck. Or rather, wish me a 4 lb. weight loss.

*By the way, anyone going out with me this weekend for my birthday celebration, I will NOT be upset if you offer me a shot instead of a hug.


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